prunesquallormd | Fic: Shell (Effy/Sophia

Entry tags:

Fic: Shell (Effy/Sophia - NC-17)

Title: Shell
Fandom: Skins
Pairing(s): Effy/Sophia
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Love unrequited, lust reciprocated.
Word count: 2000
Warnings: PWP/angst
Prompt: "I'm broken too"
Written for the

femslash_today porn battle.
This is the most explicit thing I've ever written, and it's way too smutty for me to be comfortable with anyone I actually know in real life reading it. ~~So it's locked to you guys for the moment. I hope you enjoy it :)~~
Unlocked now. If you know me in real life, I'd really rather you didn't read this. And if you choose to, let's never speak of it. 'k?

Disclaimer: I don't own Skins or these characters.

The title and opening quotation are from a song by Heather Nova

Beta-ing and invaluable moral support from the incomparable

flister. Thanks dude ♥

“Look at me I'm smooth like a shell,
Put your head down
You can hear the ocean.
Hold my body - feel it roll,
So much inside and it's all been broken.”

Effy stares at her own reflection as she listens to the sobs emanating from the cubicle behind her. She looks pale and drawn, she thinks; too much makeup smudged around blue eyes, hair pulled back starkly out of her face. She feels like she hasn't slept in days, is running on caffeine and nicotine – anything she can mainline into her system, really – and she's sure there's a gauntness to her face that she's never seen before.

Effy takes a final drag of her cigarette, flushes it down the sink. She splashes her face and turns towards the wracking, gasping sobs. She knocks gently, pushing on the cubicle door. She doesn't expect it to be unlocked, is surprised when it swings open to reveal the girl. Effy recognises her; she's seen her around a fair bit recently, an ever-silent shadow. Watching, always watching.
In many ways, it's as if Effy is still gazing at her own image: clouds of dark hair frame the girl's pale face, and Effy knows that, unobscured by tears and her own hands, the girl's eyes are equal parts luminous and haunted.
She's a pale shadow though. There's the same delicacy there, the same fragility, but without Effy's strength, her determination to always hold it together.

The girl – Sophia, Effy recalls now – looks up, her sobs barely pausing.

“Hey,” Effy whispers. She steps into the cubicle, begins to stroke the girl's hair. “Shh. Don't do that.”
She says no more. It's hard, still, to talk; she's dependent on other means of communication, and comfort.

She doesn't object as Sophia wraps her arms around her torso, though she knows that her dress will be a mess by the time the girl's body stops shaking.
It takes a few more minutes – Effy stroking reflexively, her exhalations a constant susurrus – for the quakes to subside. Effy continues stroking Sophia's hair as she gathers herself, sniffing loudly.

“Fuck. Look at me. I'm such a fucking mess.”

Effy says nothing, just looks at her, face dispassionate. Sophia's hair is dishevelled, her eyes red and puffy. She smiles, a small forced affair that comes nowhere near her eyes; those are still dark pits of pain.

“How did I get so fucking broken? Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with me?”

Effy steps back a little, better to cup the girl's cheek, her thumb continuing the reflexive stroking that her hands only ceased moments before.

“Hey, I'm broken too, you know. Broken's not so bad, as long as you know how to hide it.” Effy leans forward to kiss her softly. “There's nothing wrong with you. You're fine. Everything's shit, that's all.”
Her mouth moves against Sophia's for a few seconds, stops to place a kiss gently on first one eye then the other, before she straightens and turns to leave the cubicle, the mask falling into place once more. A hand grasps at Effy's wrist then, nails digging painfully into flesh, desperately fighting to hold her there.

Sophia's voice is barely a whisper. “Don't go. Please.”

The grip eases off the moment that Effy turns towards her once more, but her face is pleading. Her hand moves to her chest, pulling Effy's with it, until it rests just below her heart, and her voice now is the smallest release of breath, almost soundless.

“Please.”

Effy feels the softness beneath her hand, and squeezes carefully, studying Sophia's response. Her eyes widen and her lips part slightly. Effy feels the nipple harden and pinches it gently, drawing a gasp from the other girl.

Sophia pulls Effy towards her, crashing their mouths together so hard that their teeth clash. This kiss isn't soft; it's rough, demanding, desperate. Sophia nips at Effy's lower lip, forces her tongue between her lips, swiping it against her teeth. She pulls Effy even harder against herself then, easing a thigh between her legs and pushing upwards vehemently.

“Oh Jesus fuck.” Effy's voice cracks, her breath hitching. Her control slips for the briefest of moments as sensation overwhelms her and she feels herself get instantaneously wet. She pulls back, breathing hard. Sophia's face is wild, her breath harsh, her eyes barely sentient as Effy palms her breast mercilessly, studying her reactions intently. The upper hand shifts then, back to Effy, as Sophia releases a single shuddering gasp. She moves in calmly, determined to keep the pace languid for now. For all the smaller girl's abandon, Effy knows her, can see that she needs gentleness, love - or as close a simulation of it as Effy is capable of giving – not this purely animal release.

Effy's hand at Sophia's neck tangles in her hair then, pulling gently, freezing her in place. A tiny whimper escapes her slightly parted lips, her dark eyes – wide, fevered- are fixed on Effy's as she pauses, an inch from Sophia's face.

“Do you want this? Really?” Effy's voice is gentle, calm even. She does nothing to betray her own desire; could be asking about the weather, for all the passion she allows into her voice. She won't let this to be about her, although the heat in her belly is intense now, and there's a wetness between her legs that's becoming uncomfortable. The need in the other girl's face both inflames her and breaks her heart; it's a need borne of loneliness so vast that Effy can hardly stand to look at it.

Sophia's reply is a barely coherent whisper and a frantic nodding.

Effy smiles at her gently, encouragingly.

“Well let's do it fucking right, then, shall we?”

Effy grasps the bottom of Sophia's top and yanks. A few seconds of struggling later it's hanging behind her and Sophia is standing before her, semi naked, her arms wrapped around her torso, clearly struggling to stop them from moving to cover herself. Effy reaches out to stroke her cheek with her left hand as the right strokes her breast through the material of her bra, forming teasing circles that decrease slowly towards the nipple, finally grasping it between thumb and index finger and tweaking, ever so carefully. Her lips quirk as Sophia's breathing elevates. She looks so open, so eager, yet so vulnerable that Effy's heart aches for her a little. She leans forward to place another kiss on her lips, agonisingly soft, as her hands reach behind her and unfasten her bra, easing it off and throwing it haphazardly to join her top.

They kiss breathlessly as Effy palms Sophia's breast with one hand, the other dragging fingernails down her back. Effy feels Sophia's tremulous desperation abate slowly and, for the moment at least, she seems happy to let Effy lead the way.
Effy pulls back from the kiss briefly, taking a moment to enjoy the flush of colour rising in the girl before her. She looks beautiful standing there, hair a mess, face and chest pink, breathing rapidly.
Sophias's jeans are unbuttoned now, and Effy has no clue when that happened. She takes the hint, though, dropping her hand to the other girl's arse to pull her closer in once more. She dips her head to one nipple, alternating slow firm licks with teasing circles and soft, barely there nips. Sophia's breathing is almost pained now; she's stopped even trying to guide Effy. She's braced against the cubicle wall, head back, eyes flickering blindly, breathing harsh and high. Each little nip of Effy's teeth on her nipple provokes the tiniest whimper but she makes no protest, merely tangling her hands in Effy's hair, pulling her closer.

Effy – fully clothed, in control, relishing the response she's provoking from the girl before her - finally traces a hand slowly down the tautness of Sophia's stomach, pausing tauntingly at the waistband of her knickers. She keeps it there for a few seconds, her fingernails tracing shapes against her skin as Sophia strains upwards, willing, almost audibly, for it to move those last few inches. Effy relents then, easing her hand past the elastic and cupping her cunt gently, enjoying the slick heat in her hand. Sophia's breathing is a keening mewl now as she strains further into Effy's hand, but there are words too, and pleading expletives. And a name.

“Oh fuck. Oh fucking Christ, Naomi. Please just fuck me. Fucking Jesus.” Over and over.

Effy's mouth and tongue still for a moment, although her hand has begun a convulsive grasp and release motion, the tips of two fingers dipping into Sophia with each contraction. Effy raises her head a final time, clear blue eyes catching and holding Sophia's, which seem hardly able to focus. Effy dips two of her fingers into Sophia's cunt, feels her pulsate around them.

“Whatever you want, ask me. She's not here. What do you want, Sophia? Tell me.” Her voice is soft, caressing almost, but she punctuates her words with a curl of her fingers that drags a moan from Sophia that's almost a scream. Her eyes are round and she seems to actually see the girl standing in front of her once more.

“Fuck, Effy. Just … fuck. Please, Effy. Don't stop. Don't fucking stop.”

Effy nods, satisfied. She withdraws her fingers, agonisingly slowly, ignoring the whimpers of protest and the clenching of muscles as they try and fail to hold her inside.

“Effy. Please. What the fuck? I won't say her name again. Please, Effy, just ...” Sophia's voice falters as Effy raises her her fingers to her lips, sucking them as she slips slowly to her knees. Sophia hisses. Shocked? Really?
“No,” she whispers, and there is shame there now. “I don't want you to see me. Please.”

Effy shushes her softly, at the same time fluidly yanking down her jeans and knickers, shocking her into silence. She takes a deliberate moment to regard the neatly trimmed dark curls and delicate folds before looking upwards.

“You're beautiful.” Effy's voice is low, intense; there's a crack there too, perhaps. Her control is slipping. She's holding it together, but she wants this, so much. Too much.
Sophia's face is radiant. For the first time, she's smiling.

Effy places a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss on Sophia's cunt. She plays her tongue up and down her slickness, deliberately avoiding her clit, teasing her, drawing pleading, frustrated whimpers from her.

“Fingers. Jesus, Effy. Fucking fingers.” Effy complies, amused at this new-found forcefulness.
“More than that. Fuck's ...”

A second finger and a long, agonisingly slow lick on her clit, and Effy feels her unravel. She can't speak now, is reduced to moaning gasps as the rapid rhythm of Effy's fingers and the slow lapping of her tongue combine to turn her insides to liquid.

Effy is rapt. Her world is defined by the slick, hot pulse of muscles around her fingers, the growing ache in her arm and jaw and the warmth, sound, taste and smell of girl that envelope her.

Sophia comes in short, high gasps, clenching around Effy's fingers, Effy's name frozen on her lips. Effy is unrelenting as she helps Sophia ride out her orgasm, easing her down after what seems to be a single endless moment.

They're both still for a moment, silent but for their gasping breaths. It's Sophia who speaks first, and the break in her voice forces Effy to her feet in a second.

“Fuck, Effy. Oh Jesus. What am I doing?”

The tears flow once more, though minus the wracking sobs that accompanied them previously. Effy takes Sophia in her arms properly for the first time then, pressing her head to her chest.

“Shhh. It's ok. It'll be ok. I've got you.”

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I have nothing to say except -- well, fuck that was extremely hot and well-written. A++, dude. Seriously. Job well fucking done.

Thank you ♥
I really struggled writing something this explicit. It was starting to all feel a bit mechanical, and it's so hard to know if it works at all as you're writing it, so I'm so happy that you think it does :)

(I've just started 'these tiresome paper dreams, honey', and I'm loving it so much. Meg's just adorable♥).

That was really great, and really sad. I feel for Sophia, even if we didn't get a lot of time to get to know her character, and comparing her with Effy made me feel even worse, but in a good way, if that makes sense. Anyway, that was very well-written, you have no reason to be embarrassed about the technical aspects, even if you don't want people you know to know about the sex part, lol. :)

Thank you, I'm so glad you liked it ♥
Sophia's so tragic, and I hate that they used a suicide as a way to throw a spanner in the works of Naomi and Emily's relationship without having to deal with the inconvenience of another character. It was crass and cruel and just wrong. At least Chris in S2 was a fully developed character, so his death had meaning. Sophia was just a dead body to use as a plot device, and that's just horrible.
I'm sorely tempted to continue with this and just ignore the suicide entirely. She could be such a wonderful character; she just needs someone to show her some tenderness and affection, and I rather like the idea of Effy being that person (even if it is rather against character for Effy :)),

(I'm very happy you think it works from a technical aspect to. To be honest, though, even the thought of someone I know in real life reading this makes want to die with embarrassment. Hey ho :) )

This was amazing dude♥

I wish they'd given us more of Sophia's back-story because she came across as such a tragic character who was layered with vulnerability, fear and just that overwhelming feeling of being completely alone and I think you captured just how broken she was here.

Brilliant to add Effy into the mix too, I could have seen these two sharing some common ground.

Really great job :)

Cheers, I'm really happy you liked it ♥

This is my first proper attempt at Skins fic, but when I saw the prompt and the pairing it just clicked for me. They just work so perfectly together, at least in my head. They're both so broken in their own way, and I can't help feeling that Effy could have gone the same way as Sophia were she just slightly different, slightly less strong.
As I was saying to Anna, I hate the fact that they created this character just to use her suicide as a plot device and an obstacle in Naomi and Emily's relationship. She's so tragic and so vulnerable, and for the first time, I actually want to write something that goes completely against canon just to explore her character and fix her. And when I do, she certainly won't be killing herself because, just no.

The original idea to add Effy to the mix was the prompter's (

bizarro_bluth) and it's just perfect. Props to her for thinking of it :)

Thank you for the lovely comment ♥

(Also, I'm very late, but I hope you had a fabulous birthday :) )

Edited 2010-02-21 15:08 (UTC)

I'd love to see a deeper and much longer take on Sophia and I loved how you captured her here so I'd be really interested to see what you'd do with her if you take away the suicide and use her as something much more than just a plot device for Emily/Naomi. You should go for it, you're writing is so lovely to read :)

(And thank you very much :) I had a lovely birthday♥)

It helps a lot to know that there are other people who find her interesting and would like to read more (Betsy's most recent piece raises the bar a lot too, cos really, it's just so beautiful).

Thank you ♥

Edited 2010-02-23 23:13 (UTC)

I already kind of reviewed this, but will do so again in the hopes that it will prod you to WRITE MOAR SMUT DUDE ♥

This is just... aching, in every sense of the word. It's so raw and beautiful and heart clenchy, I can't describe. The strangely protective feel of Effy for this sick, lost girl, contrasted with Sophia's dwindling grip on reality... and how it all just smashes together in this big mess of lovely, sweet, slightly-messed up cubicle!sex... yeah. My goodness, I love it. Not to emotionally blackmail you or anything, but I will totally emotionally blackmail you until you write more ¬_¬ Yesss.

On a related note: you are getting me into Skins. How are you doing that?

Thank you ♥ ♥ ♥

I was so worried when I wrote this that it would just be rather poorly done smut with no redeeming features, so it's meant a lot to me that it's been well received, and I love that you love it so :)

I really plan on writing more Sophia/Effy, so hopefully you'll get your wish fairly soon. Before that is Ginny/Luna though, and if you want MOAR SMUT, I'll do my damnedest :). It'll be more fluffy and romantic than this, of course (which is never a bad thing) but with the list of prompts you gave me, there's a very high chance that it could get fairly smutty ;)

(I'm not sure whether to be pleased or apologetic that I'm getting you into Skins. It can be a somewhat frustrating and heartachey obsession, but if you love it there's a lot of good there too).

BTW If you'd like to see another, and infinitely more poetic and lovely, take on Sophia, read

twistomatic's like stars burning holes right through the dark (flicking fire like saltwater into my eyes) (http://twistomatic.livejournal.com/584604.html#cutid1). It's wonderful, although very painful. (Twistomatic's written a lot of Skins fiction and RPF, and everything I've read of hers is just beautiful.)

♥

Edited 2010-02-23 23:05 (UTC)

I love this! ♥ Great job!

Thank you.
I'm really glad you liked it ♥

Oh..wow *.*
That was amazing.
Really hot but still cute and beautiful as well.
Wow <3

Thanks :)
I'm happy you liked it.
Hot, cute and beautiful is everything I could hope for :)
<3

Lovely and sad, and better than what they both get on the show.

And very nice smut.
L

Thanks, Lash :)

I really hate the way they were both treated in the show, to be honest. Effy deserves so much better, and as for Sophia. Suicide as a plot device? And as a way of causing tension without having to bother about dealing with another character? Just lazy, and crass, and wrong. Grrrrrr.

It's good to know that it works as smut too. It's so difficult to tell if it does when you're writing it yourself.

This was really hot and emotional! I loved how broken you had both of them!

I also really enjoyed how much you had Effy want Sophia back, want to fuck her and want Sophia to know exactly who she was with.

Really well done! And I actually kinda like this pairing now that I've read it. :)

Awww, thank you. I'm really glad you liked it. This is still the only Skins story I've written (although I do plan on writing others at some point), but I'm surprised to say that reading it back, I'm actually sort of pleased with it. Effy and Sophia just work for me somehow, and I'm tempted to explore them more at some point.
This is also the first piece of smut I every wrote, and I found it incredibly hard to do. It gave me a lot of respect for some of the other writers out there who do it so well (Flis especially :)).

Thank you so much for your comment. It's nice to get comments for a story I wrote months ago :)

(Have you heard from

smeetie at all, by the way? It's been months, and I'm more than a little worried. Also I miss her :()

:) You should definitely write more! You should be pleased with it! It's really good!

I'm with you on writing smut being hard. (Flis is a genius!)

:) My pleasure!

(Unfortunately no. :( I was tempted to ask you the same question. The last time I heard from her was around Valentine's Day, and like you, I'm more than a little worried and I miss her. I'll let you know if I do hear anything though!)

Thank you :)

(I last heard from her about the same time as you, then. I've left a couple of comments since, and sent an email a couple of weeks ago, but nothing :(. I really hope she's all right.
And thanks, I'd really appreciate it you would let me know if you hear something. I'll do the same with you :)).

PS I've friended you. I hope that's ok?

Edited 2010-05-22 10:34 (UTC)

(Yeah, I try to send an e-mail like once every month or so, but I haven't heard anything and I tried calling her maybe two months ago and got no answer, but then again she rarely had her phone on her and charged before she fell of the radar, so...Anyway, thanks. Like you, I'd appreciate if you'd let me know if you hear anything. :)).

P.S. Of course! I friended you back. :)

(I've actually been contemplating randomly PMing one of the people on her f-list who lives in or around Boston just to see if they actually have RL contact with her, and know if she's ok. I haven't got that desperate yet though, mainly cos it would make me feel more than a little stalkery.
Oh well, I guess she'll break radio silence when she's ready :/).

I really must read some of your stories soon. Oh my god, you've written so much!
I hope things are good with you, by the way :)

(Yeah, I know what you mean. I texted her last night, but no luck. :/ I just hope she's ok.)

Things are good, thanks. Hope things are ok with you as well. Are you a fan of Keffy fics by any chance?

oops..sorry..meant to reply and commented instead. I hate when I do that. :/

Things are fine here too, thanks. It's too hot though. Grrr. Britain's supposed to be cool and wet D:

Oooh, I love Keffy. OTP ♥

Haha, yes. It is. It's one of the things I like about it.

Would you be interested (if you have the time and want to) of reading something new I'm working on? It's a Keffy series 3 rewrite. I kinda want to make sure it's not too static or dull. I've got through episode 3 done, but I'm not posting it yet.

(Btw, love your icon!!)

Ooh, that sounds intriguing.
I'll PM you my email address in the morning (it's bedtime on this side of the pond :)). I tend to be a little slow, and I've had like zero experience of beta-ing, but I'd definitely be interested to take a look :)

Ok cool. I don't need s strict beta-ing per se, just like a general knowledge of how's it read and does everything seem in character.

Well, I just read this now out of sheer curiosity and I have to say you really did a good job on this one. I like it a lot, it has basically everything one needs out of a good Skins fic; angst, smut, emotion, the lot. I love your portrayal of Effy and Sophia too, you write them so well. Brilliant work. =)

Thank you :)
I'm really glad you liked it, and it was a nice surprise to see that you'd read it, seeing as I posted it a while ago.
I still think there's a fair bit to explore as far as these two are concerned. One day I'll get off my lazy backside and write some more about them.
As it goes though, I'm sort of pleased with this little bit of smut. Within its very limited ambitions I think it sort of works. I'm really happy you think so too :D

Thanks for reading, and sorry it took me a little while to respond :D

Oh, this is really really gorgeous. ♥ You've got the perfect balance of smut and emotions, and I love how it fits so smoothly into canon. Your writing style is beautiful, and the smut is hot, especially considering you don't usually write it!! I loved Sophia calling Effy Naomi, and Effy not letting her fantasise like that.

Thank you ♥
This was the first smut that I ever wrote, and I was surprised at how difficult it is to do, so it makes me happy that I managed to make it hot :)
I'm on more comfortable ground with all the angst and emotion, and this is a pairing that really works for me. For all that she's incredibly emotionally closed off, I still think that Effy is both very compassionate and a good person, and I like to think that she would try to help someone who was suffering, even if the ways she can do it are limited by her own fairly major limitations.

I'd rather like to write these two again some time. Once I finish the couple of things I'm writing at the moment, maybe I will :)

Thank you so much for your lovely comment. I'm rather fond of this little bit of smut, so I'm very glad that you liked it too ♥

It is quite difficult in the beginning! Actually, I even struggle sometimes now, and I've written tons. XD It's what you said about it seeming mechanical, I think, it feels like that when you're writing it for sure and it's hard to imagine how it's coming across. But you did a fantastic job. :)

I hope you do write them again! Or more Skins fic in general.

You're welcome for the comment, of course. :D

Oh, by the way, this seems like as good a place as any to ask you to add me to your porn filter. We're fairly new LJ friends so I can entirely understand it if you're not comfortable doing that, but I'd be very happy if you did :)

Oh, absolutely! It's fine. :) I'll go do that right now.

Jesus, that was both hot and very well written!

These two characters are just so incredibly broken, the only difference being Effy hides it so much better and is able to, somehow, hold it all together more. The common ground they share is actually surprising and I could totally see Effy reaching out and connecting with Sophia because she's always tried to help those around her.

It's such a shame that season 4 totally fucked these characters over. *sighs*

Anyway, hun, this was fabulous!!
♥♥

LOL Stalker ;D

Thank you :D This was my first attempt at smut, and it was far more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. Saying that, it only took me a week or so, and that mostly in lunch breaks at works (lunch breaks in work=the perfect place and time to write smut. There aren't many better ways to make a soul-destroyingly dull job bearable), but, more so than anything I've written, this is more than a little short on plot ;)

I think it's obvious how much I love Effy and, as you say, she's just as broken as Sophia, it's just that she's stronger and far more self-reliant. Sophia needed someone to hold her together, and for me Effy was that perfect person. It's a shame that what she actually got was a bunch of writers who cared more for melodrama and spectacle than sensitively written, character-focused drama. (LOL I may be blurring the line between fiction and reality in this comment a little. Whatever, I'm fine with that :)).

I'm very glad you decided to go back and read this, and that you enjoyed it. I'm very fond of it, and I love these girls so. Maybe I'll write some more about them one day.

BTW Have you ever read 'Blue in Green'? It's the first of my Ginny/Luna stories and, of all the stories I've written, it's the one I'm fondest, and proudest, of. /Self-pomotion ends :p

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Fic: Shell (Effy/Sophia - NC-17)

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