Fic: Shell (Effy/Sophia - NC-17)
Feb. 19th, 2010 11:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prunesquallormdTitle: Shell
Fandom: Skins
Pairing(s): Effy/Sophia
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Love unrequited, lust reciprocated.
Word count: 2000
Warnings: PWP/angst
Prompt: "I'm broken too"
Written for the![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
femslash_today porn battle.
This is the most explicit thing I've ever written, and it's way too smutty for me to be comfortable with anyone I actually know in real life reading it.So it's locked to you guys for the moment. I hope you enjoy it :)
Unlocked now. If you know me in real life, I'd really rather you didn't read this. And if you choose to, let's never speak of it. 'k?
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins or these characters.
The title and opening quotation are from a song by Heather Nova
Beta-ing and invaluable moral support from the incomparable![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
flister. Thanks dude ♥
“Look at me I'm smooth like a shell,
Put your head down
You can hear the ocean.
Hold my body - feel it roll,
So much inside and it's all been broken.”
Effy stares at her own reflection as she listens to the sobs emanating from the cubicle behind her. She looks pale and drawn, she thinks; too much makeup smudged around blue eyes, hair pulled back starkly out of her face. She feels like she hasn't slept in days, is running on caffeine and nicotine – anything she can mainline into her system, really – and she's sure there's a gauntness to her face that she's never seen before.
Effy takes a final drag of her cigarette, flushes it down the sink. She splashes her face and turns towards the wracking, gasping sobs. She knocks gently, pushing on the cubicle door. She doesn't expect it to be unlocked, is surprised when it swings open to reveal the girl. Effy recognises her; she's seen her around a fair bit recently, an ever-silent shadow. Watching, always watching.
In many ways, it's as if Effy is still gazing at her own image: clouds of dark hair frame the girl's pale face, and Effy knows that, unobscured by tears and her own hands, the girl's eyes are equal parts luminous and haunted.
She's a pale shadow though. There's the same delicacy there, the same fragility, but without Effy's strength, her determination to always hold it together.
The girl – Sophia, Effy recalls now – looks up, her sobs barely pausing.
“Hey,” Effy whispers. She steps into the cubicle, begins to stroke the girl's hair. “Shh. Don't do that.”
She says no more. It's hard, still, to talk; she's dependent on other means of communication, and comfort.
She doesn't object as Sophia wraps her arms around her torso, though she knows that her dress will be a mess by the time the girl's body stops shaking.
It takes a few more minutes – Effy stroking reflexively, her exhalations a constant susurrus – for the quakes to subside. Effy continues stroking Sophia's hair as she gathers herself, sniffing loudly.
“Fuck. Look at me. I'm such a fucking mess.”
Effy says nothing, just looks at her, face dispassionate. Sophia's hair is dishevelled, her eyes red and puffy. She smiles, a small forced affair that comes nowhere near her eyes; those are still dark pits of pain.
“How did I get so fucking broken? Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with me?”
Effy steps back a little, better to cup the girl's cheek, her thumb continuing the reflexive stroking that her hands only ceased moments before.
“Hey, I'm broken too, you know. Broken's not so bad, as long as you know how to hide it.” Effy leans forward to kiss her softly. “There's nothing wrong with you. You're fine. Everything's shit, that's all.”
Her mouth moves against Sophia's for a few seconds, stops to place a kiss gently on first one eye then the other, before she straightens and turns to leave the cubicle, the mask falling into place once more. A hand grasps at Effy's wrist then, nails digging painfully into flesh, desperately fighting to hold her there.
Sophia's voice is barely a whisper. “Don't go. Please.”
The grip eases off the moment that Effy turns towards her once more, but her face is pleading. Her hand moves to her chest, pulling Effy's with it, until it rests just below her heart, and her voice now is the smallest release of breath, almost soundless.
“Please.”
Effy feels the softness beneath her hand, and squeezes carefully, studying Sophia's response. Her eyes widen and her lips part slightly. Effy feels the nipple harden and pinches it gently, drawing a gasp from the other girl.
Sophia pulls Effy towards her, crashing their mouths together so hard that their teeth clash. This kiss isn't soft; it's rough, demanding, desperate. Sophia nips at Effy's lower lip, forces her tongue between her lips, swiping it against her teeth. She pulls Effy even harder against herself then, easing a thigh between her legs and pushing upwards vehemently.
“Oh Jesus fuck.” Effy's voice cracks, her breath hitching. Her control slips for the briefest of moments as sensation overwhelms her and she feels herself get instantaneously wet. She pulls back, breathing hard. Sophia's face is wild, her breath harsh, her eyes barely sentient as Effy palms her breast mercilessly, studying her reactions intently. The upper hand shifts then, back to Effy, as Sophia releases a single shuddering gasp. She moves in calmly, determined to keep the pace languid for now. For all the smaller girl's abandon, Effy knows her, can see that she needs gentleness, love - or as close a simulation of it as Effy is capable of giving – not this purely animal release.
Effy's hand at Sophia's neck tangles in her hair then, pulling gently, freezing her in place. A tiny whimper escapes her slightly parted lips, her dark eyes – wide, fevered- are fixed on Effy's as she pauses, an inch from Sophia's face.
“Do you want this? Really?” Effy's voice is gentle, calm even. She does nothing to betray her own desire; could be asking about the weather, for all the passion she allows into her voice. She won't let this to be about her, although the heat in her belly is intense now, and there's a wetness between her legs that's becoming uncomfortable. The need in the other girl's face both inflames her and breaks her heart; it's a need borne of loneliness so vast that Effy can hardly stand to look at it.
Sophia's reply is a barely coherent whisper and a frantic nodding.
Effy smiles at her gently, encouragingly.
“Well let's do it fucking right, then, shall we?”
Effy grasps the bottom of Sophia's top and yanks. A few seconds of struggling later it's hanging behind her and Sophia is standing before her, semi naked, her arms wrapped around her torso, clearly struggling to stop them from moving to cover herself. Effy reaches out to stroke her cheek with her left hand as the right strokes her breast through the material of her bra, forming teasing circles that decrease slowly towards the nipple, finally grasping it between thumb and index finger and tweaking, ever so carefully. Her lips quirk as Sophia's breathing elevates. She looks so open, so eager, yet so vulnerable that Effy's heart aches for her a little. She leans forward to place another kiss on her lips, agonisingly soft, as her hands reach behind her and unfasten her bra, easing it off and throwing it haphazardly to join her top.
They kiss breathlessly as Effy palms Sophia's breast with one hand, the other dragging fingernails down her back. Effy feels Sophia's tremulous desperation abate slowly and, for the moment at least, she seems happy to let Effy lead the way.
Effy pulls back from the kiss briefly, taking a moment to enjoy the flush of colour rising in the girl before her. She looks beautiful standing there, hair a mess, face and chest pink, breathing rapidly.
Sophias's jeans are unbuttoned now, and Effy has no clue when that happened. She takes the hint, though, dropping her hand to the other girl's arse to pull her closer in once more. She dips her head to one nipple, alternating slow firm licks with teasing circles and soft, barely there nips. Sophia's breathing is almost pained now; she's stopped even trying to guide Effy. She's braced against the cubicle wall, head back, eyes flickering blindly, breathing harsh and high. Each little nip of Effy's teeth on her nipple provokes the tiniest whimper but she makes no protest, merely tangling her hands in Effy's hair, pulling her closer.
Effy – fully clothed, in control, relishing the response she's provoking from the girl before her - finally traces a hand slowly down the tautness of Sophia's stomach, pausing tauntingly at the waistband of her knickers. She keeps it there for a few seconds, her fingernails tracing shapes against her skin as Sophia strains upwards, willing, almost audibly, for it to move those last few inches. Effy relents then, easing her hand past the elastic and cupping her cunt gently, enjoying the slick heat in her hand. Sophia's breathing is a keening mewl now as she strains further into Effy's hand, but there are words too, and pleading expletives. And a name.
“Oh fuck. Oh fucking Christ, Naomi. Please just fuck me. Fucking Jesus.” Over and over.
Effy's mouth and tongue still for a moment, although her hand has begun a convulsive grasp and release motion, the tips of two fingers dipping into Sophia with each contraction. Effy raises her head a final time, clear blue eyes catching and holding Sophia's, which seem hardly able to focus. Effy dips two of her fingers into Sophia's cunt, feels her pulsate around them.
“Whatever you want, ask me. She's not here. What do you want, Sophia? Tell me.” Her voice is soft, caressing almost, but she punctuates her words with a curl of her fingers that drags a moan from Sophia that's almost a scream. Her eyes are round and she seems to actually see the girl standing in front of her once more.
“Fuck, Effy. Just … fuck. Please, Effy. Don't stop. Don't fucking stop.”
Effy nods, satisfied. She withdraws her fingers, agonisingly slowly, ignoring the whimpers of protest and the clenching of muscles as they try and fail to hold her inside.
“Effy. Please. What the fuck? I won't say her name again. Please, Effy, just ...” Sophia's voice falters as Effy raises her her fingers to her lips, sucking them as she slips slowly to her knees. Sophia hisses. Shocked? Really?
“No,” she whispers, and there is shame there now. “I don't want you to see me. Please.”
Effy shushes her softly, at the same time fluidly yanking down her jeans and knickers, shocking her into silence. She takes a deliberate moment to regard the neatly trimmed dark curls and delicate folds before looking upwards.
“You're beautiful.” Effy's voice is low, intense; there's a crack there too, perhaps. Her control is slipping. She's holding it together, but she wants this, so much. Too much.
Sophia's face is radiant. For the first time, she's smiling.
Effy places a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss on Sophia's cunt. She plays her tongue up and down her slickness, deliberately avoiding her clit, teasing her, drawing pleading, frustrated whimpers from her.
“Fingers. Jesus, Effy. Fucking fingers.” Effy complies, amused at this new-found forcefulness.
“More than that. Fuck's ...”
A second finger and a long, agonisingly slow lick on her clit, and Effy feels her unravel. She can't speak now, is reduced to moaning gasps as the rapid rhythm of Effy's fingers and the slow lapping of her tongue combine to turn her insides to liquid.
Effy is rapt. Her world is defined by the slick, hot pulse of muscles around her fingers, the growing ache in her arm and jaw and the warmth, sound, taste and smell of girl that envelope her.
Sophia comes in short, high gasps, clenching around Effy's fingers, Effy's name frozen on her lips. Effy is unrelenting as she helps Sophia ride out her orgasm, easing her down after what seems to be a single endless moment.
They're both still for a moment, silent but for their gasping breaths. It's Sophia who speaks first, and the break in her voice forces Effy to her feet in a second.
“Fuck, Effy. Oh Jesus. What am I doing?”
The tears flow once more, though minus the wracking sobs that accompanied them previously. Effy takes Sophia in her arms properly for the first time then, pressing her head to her chest.
“Shhh. It's ok. It'll be ok. I've got you.”
Fandom: Skins
Pairing(s): Effy/Sophia
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Love unrequited, lust reciprocated.
Word count: 2000
Warnings: PWP/angst
Prompt: "I'm broken too"
Written for the
femslash_today porn battle.This is the most explicit thing I've ever written, and it's way too smutty for me to be comfortable with anyone I actually know in real life reading it.
Unlocked now. If you know me in real life, I'd really rather you didn't read this. And if you choose to, let's never speak of it. 'k?
Disclaimer: I don't own Skins or these characters.
The title and opening quotation are from a song by Heather Nova
Beta-ing and invaluable moral support from the incomparable
flister. Thanks dude ♥“Look at me I'm smooth like a shell,
Put your head down
You can hear the ocean.
Hold my body - feel it roll,
So much inside and it's all been broken.”
Effy stares at her own reflection as she listens to the sobs emanating from the cubicle behind her. She looks pale and drawn, she thinks; too much makeup smudged around blue eyes, hair pulled back starkly out of her face. She feels like she hasn't slept in days, is running on caffeine and nicotine – anything she can mainline into her system, really – and she's sure there's a gauntness to her face that she's never seen before.
Effy takes a final drag of her cigarette, flushes it down the sink. She splashes her face and turns towards the wracking, gasping sobs. She knocks gently, pushing on the cubicle door. She doesn't expect it to be unlocked, is surprised when it swings open to reveal the girl. Effy recognises her; she's seen her around a fair bit recently, an ever-silent shadow. Watching, always watching.
In many ways, it's as if Effy is still gazing at her own image: clouds of dark hair frame the girl's pale face, and Effy knows that, unobscured by tears and her own hands, the girl's eyes are equal parts luminous and haunted.
She's a pale shadow though. There's the same delicacy there, the same fragility, but without Effy's strength, her determination to always hold it together.
The girl – Sophia, Effy recalls now – looks up, her sobs barely pausing.
“Hey,” Effy whispers. She steps into the cubicle, begins to stroke the girl's hair. “Shh. Don't do that.”
She says no more. It's hard, still, to talk; she's dependent on other means of communication, and comfort.
She doesn't object as Sophia wraps her arms around her torso, though she knows that her dress will be a mess by the time the girl's body stops shaking.
It takes a few more minutes – Effy stroking reflexively, her exhalations a constant susurrus – for the quakes to subside. Effy continues stroking Sophia's hair as she gathers herself, sniffing loudly.
“Fuck. Look at me. I'm such a fucking mess.”
Effy says nothing, just looks at her, face dispassionate. Sophia's hair is dishevelled, her eyes red and puffy. She smiles, a small forced affair that comes nowhere near her eyes; those are still dark pits of pain.
“How did I get so fucking broken? Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with me?”
Effy steps back a little, better to cup the girl's cheek, her thumb continuing the reflexive stroking that her hands only ceased moments before.
“Hey, I'm broken too, you know. Broken's not so bad, as long as you know how to hide it.” Effy leans forward to kiss her softly. “There's nothing wrong with you. You're fine. Everything's shit, that's all.”
Her mouth moves against Sophia's for a few seconds, stops to place a kiss gently on first one eye then the other, before she straightens and turns to leave the cubicle, the mask falling into place once more. A hand grasps at Effy's wrist then, nails digging painfully into flesh, desperately fighting to hold her there.
Sophia's voice is barely a whisper. “Don't go. Please.”
The grip eases off the moment that Effy turns towards her once more, but her face is pleading. Her hand moves to her chest, pulling Effy's with it, until it rests just below her heart, and her voice now is the smallest release of breath, almost soundless.
“Please.”
Effy feels the softness beneath her hand, and squeezes carefully, studying Sophia's response. Her eyes widen and her lips part slightly. Effy feels the nipple harden and pinches it gently, drawing a gasp from the other girl.
Sophia pulls Effy towards her, crashing their mouths together so hard that their teeth clash. This kiss isn't soft; it's rough, demanding, desperate. Sophia nips at Effy's lower lip, forces her tongue between her lips, swiping it against her teeth. She pulls Effy even harder against herself then, easing a thigh between her legs and pushing upwards vehemently.
“Oh Jesus fuck.” Effy's voice cracks, her breath hitching. Her control slips for the briefest of moments as sensation overwhelms her and she feels herself get instantaneously wet. She pulls back, breathing hard. Sophia's face is wild, her breath harsh, her eyes barely sentient as Effy palms her breast mercilessly, studying her reactions intently. The upper hand shifts then, back to Effy, as Sophia releases a single shuddering gasp. She moves in calmly, determined to keep the pace languid for now. For all the smaller girl's abandon, Effy knows her, can see that she needs gentleness, love - or as close a simulation of it as Effy is capable of giving – not this purely animal release.
Effy's hand at Sophia's neck tangles in her hair then, pulling gently, freezing her in place. A tiny whimper escapes her slightly parted lips, her dark eyes – wide, fevered- are fixed on Effy's as she pauses, an inch from Sophia's face.
“Do you want this? Really?” Effy's voice is gentle, calm even. She does nothing to betray her own desire; could be asking about the weather, for all the passion she allows into her voice. She won't let this to be about her, although the heat in her belly is intense now, and there's a wetness between her legs that's becoming uncomfortable. The need in the other girl's face both inflames her and breaks her heart; it's a need borne of loneliness so vast that Effy can hardly stand to look at it.
Sophia's reply is a barely coherent whisper and a frantic nodding.
Effy smiles at her gently, encouragingly.
“Well let's do it fucking right, then, shall we?”
Effy grasps the bottom of Sophia's top and yanks. A few seconds of struggling later it's hanging behind her and Sophia is standing before her, semi naked, her arms wrapped around her torso, clearly struggling to stop them from moving to cover herself. Effy reaches out to stroke her cheek with her left hand as the right strokes her breast through the material of her bra, forming teasing circles that decrease slowly towards the nipple, finally grasping it between thumb and index finger and tweaking, ever so carefully. Her lips quirk as Sophia's breathing elevates. She looks so open, so eager, yet so vulnerable that Effy's heart aches for her a little. She leans forward to place another kiss on her lips, agonisingly soft, as her hands reach behind her and unfasten her bra, easing it off and throwing it haphazardly to join her top.
They kiss breathlessly as Effy palms Sophia's breast with one hand, the other dragging fingernails down her back. Effy feels Sophia's tremulous desperation abate slowly and, for the moment at least, she seems happy to let Effy lead the way.
Effy pulls back from the kiss briefly, taking a moment to enjoy the flush of colour rising in the girl before her. She looks beautiful standing there, hair a mess, face and chest pink, breathing rapidly.
Sophias's jeans are unbuttoned now, and Effy has no clue when that happened. She takes the hint, though, dropping her hand to the other girl's arse to pull her closer in once more. She dips her head to one nipple, alternating slow firm licks with teasing circles and soft, barely there nips. Sophia's breathing is almost pained now; she's stopped even trying to guide Effy. She's braced against the cubicle wall, head back, eyes flickering blindly, breathing harsh and high. Each little nip of Effy's teeth on her nipple provokes the tiniest whimper but she makes no protest, merely tangling her hands in Effy's hair, pulling her closer.
Effy – fully clothed, in control, relishing the response she's provoking from the girl before her - finally traces a hand slowly down the tautness of Sophia's stomach, pausing tauntingly at the waistband of her knickers. She keeps it there for a few seconds, her fingernails tracing shapes against her skin as Sophia strains upwards, willing, almost audibly, for it to move those last few inches. Effy relents then, easing her hand past the elastic and cupping her cunt gently, enjoying the slick heat in her hand. Sophia's breathing is a keening mewl now as she strains further into Effy's hand, but there are words too, and pleading expletives. And a name.
“Oh fuck. Oh fucking Christ, Naomi. Please just fuck me. Fucking Jesus.” Over and over.
Effy's mouth and tongue still for a moment, although her hand has begun a convulsive grasp and release motion, the tips of two fingers dipping into Sophia with each contraction. Effy raises her head a final time, clear blue eyes catching and holding Sophia's, which seem hardly able to focus. Effy dips two of her fingers into Sophia's cunt, feels her pulsate around them.
“Whatever you want, ask me. She's not here. What do you want, Sophia? Tell me.” Her voice is soft, caressing almost, but she punctuates her words with a curl of her fingers that drags a moan from Sophia that's almost a scream. Her eyes are round and she seems to actually see the girl standing in front of her once more.
“Fuck, Effy. Just … fuck. Please, Effy. Don't stop. Don't fucking stop.”
Effy nods, satisfied. She withdraws her fingers, agonisingly slowly, ignoring the whimpers of protest and the clenching of muscles as they try and fail to hold her inside.
“Effy. Please. What the fuck? I won't say her name again. Please, Effy, just ...” Sophia's voice falters as Effy raises her her fingers to her lips, sucking them as she slips slowly to her knees. Sophia hisses. Shocked? Really?
“No,” she whispers, and there is shame there now. “I don't want you to see me. Please.”
Effy shushes her softly, at the same time fluidly yanking down her jeans and knickers, shocking her into silence. She takes a deliberate moment to regard the neatly trimmed dark curls and delicate folds before looking upwards.
“You're beautiful.” Effy's voice is low, intense; there's a crack there too, perhaps. Her control is slipping. She's holding it together, but she wants this, so much. Too much.
Sophia's face is radiant. For the first time, she's smiling.
Effy places a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss on Sophia's cunt. She plays her tongue up and down her slickness, deliberately avoiding her clit, teasing her, drawing pleading, frustrated whimpers from her.
“Fingers. Jesus, Effy. Fucking fingers.” Effy complies, amused at this new-found forcefulness.
“More than that. Fuck's ...”
A second finger and a long, agonisingly slow lick on her clit, and Effy feels her unravel. She can't speak now, is reduced to moaning gasps as the rapid rhythm of Effy's fingers and the slow lapping of her tongue combine to turn her insides to liquid.
Effy is rapt. Her world is defined by the slick, hot pulse of muscles around her fingers, the growing ache in her arm and jaw and the warmth, sound, taste and smell of girl that envelope her.
Sophia comes in short, high gasps, clenching around Effy's fingers, Effy's name frozen on her lips. Effy is unrelenting as she helps Sophia ride out her orgasm, easing her down after what seems to be a single endless moment.
They're both still for a moment, silent but for their gasping breaths. It's Sophia who speaks first, and the break in her voice forces Effy to her feet in a second.
“Fuck, Effy. Oh Jesus. What am I doing?”
The tears flow once more, though minus the wracking sobs that accompanied them previously. Effy takes Sophia in her arms properly for the first time then, pressing her head to her chest.
“Shhh. It's ok. It'll be ok. I've got you.”
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no subject
Date: 2010-02-20 12:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-20 11:36 am (UTC)Sophia's so tragic, and I hate that they used a suicide as a way to throw a spanner in the works of Naomi and Emily's relationship without having to deal with the inconvenience of another character. It was crass and cruel and just wrong. At least Chris in S2 was a fully developed character, so his death had meaning. Sophia was just a dead body to use as a plot device, and that's just horrible.
I'm sorely tempted to continue with this and just ignore the suicide entirely. She could be such a wonderful character; she just needs someone to show her some tenderness and affection, and I rather like the idea of Effy being that person (even if it is rather against character for Effy :)),
(I'm very happy you think it works from a technical aspect to. To be honest, though, even the thought of someone I know in real life reading this makes want to die with embarrassment. Hey ho :) )